Sanji

Rambut belah tepi. Kadang kadang pakai cermin mata. Strong leg point. Di pandang rendah ramai. Peranan penting tetapi tidak diiktiraf. Pandai memasak. Can leap through the air. Mempunyai destinasi impian. Jarang serius kerana tidak mahu.

Slow Note

There is something i want to tweet about. But if i do so, i won't stop. So it's better to blog.


Anyway congrats to anyone who's still blogging. A dying passion i guess. Some blog for fame, some blog for money. Some blog to express, some blog to note. Whatever the reason it is, if you think what you are doing is right, then you are right. It's like a key of being yourself. You do for your own reason.


I want to write on how confuse i am right now. On how am i suppose to deal with this problem(person) of mine.


I want to write on how afraid i am right now. On how am i suppose to deal with this another problem(person) of mine.


I want to write on how hateful i am right now. On how am i suppose to deal with this another problem(person) of mine.


Basically, my self is being hectic. With all these issues came at once. Dealing with more than one problem. Different issues with different angles.


Too dim i guess. Here's a relief.


Tadi main futsal, haram jad tak dapat gol satu pun.


Naharrooommm!


________________


I've been silent. I've been ignorant. In hoping you will understand, i need your acceptance


I've been silent. I've been ignorant. In hoping you will understand, i need your support.


I've been silent. I've been ignorant. In hoping you will understand, i need your respect.


i guess being silent is the least enough you could do. We need to voice out. We need to wake up. We need to stand up. But sometimes, when you're sure that they all understand you as your friend, who shares the same wave length of heart and mind, live in the same own world, silent is enough. Being silent is loud enough to make them hear our voice, our demand, our hope..

__
Hanging around waiting is the most lonely thing you could ever do. We already gave our hand and waiting for reaching. We already gave our question and waiting for the answer.


It's like we are in a dark dimension. We don't know exactly what we're doing. But we do know what we really want. To get out of there. And we stupidly convinced ourselves, we already made our moves. As the reality is, even ourselves don't know are we moving as we can't even see our body. I am really confused.

___
And at the same moment. I'm afraid of losing something. Something precious.


We can not move without a support in our lives. Just like a body without a spine. Just because some glitchy feelings are shared together it can destroy all that are built. And i don't want to lose that.


This i see as a support.

___
Being a joke is never fun. But it's a happiness on its very own way. We laugh. We create something called memories. We living our lives. And when we're getting used to it, someone will always wanted more. Someone will always step onto a higher degree. And we respect that by lying ourselves. We hurt our pride by making them feel good. And that's the hectic side of it.


We will fall. We will fall too deep no one will give a fuck about it. At the very shit-least they will pretend.


And it's hard to climb up again. It's hard to gain back your respect, your pride, your existence. You will not be helped, as you are on your own. Even they understand, even they knew, our humanly instinct to be in a safe zone will take its part. They will ego-ishly talk about it with others just to loosen up their heart and mind a bit. Just to make themselves feel at ease. I really hate it.

__
Sad isn't it.


For know i convince my self. The fastest way to make up for it is humbleness and modesty. I have to learn being that. Those are some of the seeds of respect tree.


Keep silent and ignorant. Even you can't recognize your broken heart anymore.


_______________________________
another shitty joke is expected like always.

Tinta Yang Gagal

Salam semua


Pelbagai perkara sedang berlaku di akal fikiran aku sekarang ini. Takdir semester pendek. Kondisi kereta. Kasut baru. Seluar baru. Anak buah pertama yang sakan tidur. Kawan minta tumbuk. Anak anak kucing yang sangat tak perlu kisah apa hanya perlu cakar cakar almari baju. Masa depan. Parkour. Berat badan. Kawan kawan lama. Kekasih kekasih hati. Masa depan. Masa depan. Masa depan....


Apabila semua perkara ini bermain di dalam fikiran kita tidak mampu fokus akan satu perkara sekali pun. Nyata kita sedang serabut. Aku sedang serabut.


Dan aku mula terfikir dengan ayat


"life engkau yang entah macam mana aku pun tak tahu"


Jujur nya aku pun tidak tahu apa sedang berlaku sekarang ini. Yang aku tahu segenap peluk tubuh aku hanya tidur dan makan. Persetankan semua perkara. Itu lah apa yang aku rasa sekarang ini. Sedang menuju kegagalan. Sedang menuju kelemahan. Dan mula lah aku cuba mengetuk hari inspirasi untuk bangun dan meneruskan perjalanan yang sedang sedia cool dan sensasi ini.


Jika ingin bermuhasabah diri pasti ada mereka yang mencela ;

"hah! Gagal! Bilang berapa kali kau seperti ini? Tak berubah dan sedia gagal seperti kala"


Baiklah kali ini biar aku mencela mereka yang setan di dalam akal fikiran aku yang serabut ini.


....


Tidak.


Some things are better left unsaid. Silence is golden.



Calu.

Because you live

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it through every storm
What is life, what's the use if you're killing time
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live

Because you live there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what you've given me always

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has everything I need to survive

Because you live, I live, I live

If You Think This Is Bullshit I Have Planted Something On You Too

Ada mereka mereka di kawasan kawasan tertentu telah aku 'ter' tanam di dalam fikiran mereka bahawa aku ini tidak lah begitu bijaksana orangnya. mungkin juga seorang yang tidak layak dihormati dengan terlalu tinggi, ataupun seorang yang lemah, kecil, tidak penting dan sebagainya mengikut kawasan yang tertentu. Aku pun tidak tahu kenapa aku berbuat begitu. Maybe it's just a social experiment for my self satisfaction, to see how far a person will go with his belief. And how he will react when he realize, that all this time, his belief,


was a lie.